Grieving San Francisco cornerback Charvarius Ward hesitated when asked about re-signing with the 49ers next season, admitting he's faced “a lot of trauma in California” since the tragic death of his 1-year-old daughter, Amani Joy. .
“I had a lot of great times, but the worst thing that's ever happened to me, that's probably ever going to happen to me (knock on wood), happened in California,” Ward said. ESPN's Nick Wagoner. “It can just bring back bad memories.” Every time I get on a plane and go back to California, Santa Clara, San Jose and show up here, it brings back bad memories.'
Ward has been living alone while with the team and says his girlfriend Monique Cook has stayed away from the Santa Clara area due to persistent pain since Amani Joy passed away in October after battling heart problems.
Admittedly, he has struggled with post-traumatic stress disorder, late-night sittings, and even vomiting since the tragedy.
“I go through it every day,” Ward said. 'I come home alone every night because my daughter doesn't want to go back to California because of what happened. So, it's hard to be alone and she is my strength right now. I need her and so if she can't be near me if I'm in California, it would be difficult.
The couple announced Amani's death on Instagram on October 29. She was born prematurely in November 2022 and would undergo open heart surgery in April 2023.
49ers' Charvarius Ward stands on the sidelines during the national anthem
Amani was born prematurely with Down syndrome and had suffered several health problems
Ward and Cook's daughter, Amani Joy, sadly passed away shortly before her second birthday.
Ward took three weeks away from the team after his death before playing in five of the final six games of the season, only leaving in late December to return to Dallas for the birth of his son, Charvarius Jr.
That pregnancy was equally complicated and, as Ward revealed on Monday, the couple almost lost the child before Amani's death in October.
After months of heartbreak followed by the happy birth of his son, Ward is understandably exhausted as he enters 2025.
“It took everything physically, mentally, emotionally and spiritually,” Ward said of last year. 'It took me all that every day to come here and be able to practice. I didn't go to meetings half the time. My social battery was very low. It was just hard to be around people. I didn't want people to feel sorry for me and all that. “I just tried to show up and be there for my teammates.”
Despite everything, Ward insists he is “more motivated” ahead of 2025, but still doesn't know where he will play football.
An undrafted free agent out of Middle Tennessee State in 2018, Ward became a productive cornerback for both the Kansas City Chiefs and 49ers over the past seven seasons, recording 10 interceptions in 88 starts and 101 appearances.
Ward, a Pro Bowl selection in 2023, was also a member of the Chiefs team that beat the 49ers in Super Bowl LIV five years ago and played for San Francisco during last February's Super Bowl loss to Kansas City.
Ward and Cook issued a statement in October following Amani's death.
“We are heartbroken that our beautiful baby girl, Amani Joy, passed away Monday morning,” Ward wrote. “She was the best blessing we could have asked for, and her joyful spirit made us smile from ear to ear.”
'She taught us patience, confidence and a positive attitude towards life. She showed us true strength and bravery. He overcame adversity from a young age and was always happy, lighting up every room with his smile.'
“Having the privilege of being their parents and seeing the world through their eyes has changed us for the better,” Ward added. 'She will always be daddy's best friend and mommy's girl. We will miss you and love you forever, Amani Joy.'