Pray for my liver, dear readers, because it has been a week! I traveled south to Melbourne for F1 and found myself in the most extraordinary situations.
Dancing to the DJ set of Sporty Spice, dodging the spills of Martini of Espresso in glamor on the grid and discussing tantric sex with a famous fashionista … It was a glorious week.
It all started on Wednesday when I went madly episodes of Netflix's impulse to survive on the plane, thinking that I would update myself in a sport I didn't know anything. It is sure to say that the first episodes unpacking the Christian Horner scandal made the trick. I hooked instantly! (Note on the margin: Ginger Spice's husband is really hot, which demonstrates once again that I must remain single until I solve my bad taste in men. I sigh).
Anyway, it was directly from the plane, a quick roller of hair and makeup, a change of outfit, and then to the F1 track for glamor on the grid, an exclusive party for celebrities, wags and influential that is exactly what it seems.
Now, nobody had given me the note that this was he Year event for the social set of Melbourne. I have been in Logies (the Australian version of the Emmys) and the ARIA Awards (our Grammys) and never in my days I have seen so much couture in one place. A well -known makeup artist told me that he had been reserved months in advance … Then, what happened later was a good faith disaster.
Just when the red carpet was about to start on the racing track, Mother Nature decided to play a cruel joke. Not only did it rain, it broke up! Everything was waiting while the photographers ran to cover themselves, the celebrities stayed in their ubers, and I … well, I decided to make the most of it and took some fabulously dramatic photos holding an umbrella.
I paid the price later when my curls went flat. As my mother would say, 'that's what you get to show off.'
Finally, the storm passed and the night resumed, although not before an assistant partner made a passive comment -an agreed on me 'trying to be Jane Bunn' with my dress. (For your information, my American and British readers, is a deliciously curvilinear climate presenter with which everyone in Melbourne is obsessed). Look, it was explosive, but also fabulous (as is Jane!) Can we stop with the shame of the body? It is 2025, for the love of God.
Pray for my liver, readers, because it has been a week! I traveled south to Melbourne for F1 and found myself in the most extraordinary situations, writes the email+ columnist Jana Hocking
Just when the red carpet was about to start on the Glamor Carreras track on the network, Mother Nature decided to play a cruel joke. Not only did it rain, it broke up!
And it's fine, I'm not going to lie, I wanted to hate this party. It was an infernal fire to enter. But it was good. Very good.
Although the night began with thunderstorms and delays, I saw how the most beautiful people in scandalously expensive outfits assaulted the wall wall. That was entertaining for a while, especially seeing women with dresses with long trains trying to remove rainwater, but I finally got bored.
The celebrities were famous, and the crowd was ridiculously beautiful … I simply did not know who most of them were. Well, apart from Lindy Klim And his beautiful daughter, Erin Holland, Rebecca Harding, BEC JUDD and Nadia Bartel. The rest? Models or influencers, maybe? One thing that brought me immense joy, was not seeing a single MAFS contestant! A publicist friend told me that Melbourne frowns the stars of reality in social events, and honestly, Sydney should take note.
A woman with an impressive shiny gold dress joined our group to have a drink, and we all assumed that it was a wood, until an extremely old man approached her, and we realized he It was her husband.
As the Tiktokers say: “We listen, we don't judge.”
The great bomb of the night was that Channing TatumThe new Australian girlfriend, 25 -year -old model Inka WilliamsI was attending. When I was at Sydney airport on the way to Melbourne, I met my favorite paparazzo and, obviously, I interrogated who I was waiting for.
“Sheila de Channing Tatum,” he said. I will have to be attentive to her, I thought …
Hours later, on the red carpet, all I could hear was, 'Is inka yet?' 'Has anyone seen inka?' Now, to be fair, I could not have chosen it from an alignment.
I arrived with a nice leopard print dress for the Taittinger champagne party at the Royce Hotel, just to find a great Gatsby-Esque scene waiting for me
So imagine my surprise when I was sitting for something with Bec Harding and Montana CoxAnd the most impressive woman I had seen in my life sat next to me and leaned down to talk. I introduced myself and she replied: 'Hello, I'm Inka'.
We chat about where we both lived, and she said the. I told him that I had never taken me to Los Angeles, it's a bit too false to my liking. And she replied and quote …
'No, I'm not a fan either. But I really don't go out much. I love going to camp, walking and having a lot of sex with my boyfriend. That is all I do in Los Angeles.
Reminder: Her boyfriend is Mr. Channing Tatum.
I, for my part, could register in that type of lifestyle. Devils, I would even make an exhausting walk if that meant a naked recreation of his Mike 'Pony' magical scene at the end.
Our conversation was tragically interrupted when an espresso Martini Flying landed at BEC after Montana stood up and discovered that the table was very staggering.
It was time to call him a night. I gently accepted my gift bag that contains some fabulous shoes, then I dragged the courtesy bus that would take us all back to civilization.
The next F1 party was at the Royce Hotel, organized by Champagne Taittinger. Once again, Melbourne's social set embarrassed this Sydney girl. I arrived with a nice leopard print dress, just to find a great Gatsby-Esque scene I was waiting for me. Think of women with long black ball dresses, Kate pants In a full silver sequin cute. Okay, Jana, raise your game.
No expense was saved. Caviar's blows were delivered to the left, right and center, and my actor friend was subtly informed that they usually only give a bulk by guest.
Speaking of potholes, a wiggle at the party told me that glamor in the grid had been “all the same faces as last year” and that there was “more snow in those bathrooms than a white Christmas.” I must have lost that! No one told me and my crew …
(Note: No one mentioned or in the image in this article will take drugs).
Just when the night was staying, fashion designer PIP Edwards He arrived with her best friend Mike Nolan, Bringing some star power. I had just landed from Los Angeles and told me how exhausted it was after a few days in F1. I mentioned that I was going to Los Angeles soon for a slightly controversial retirement, and she shared casually that she had done one about tantric sex, where she learned 10 different hand techniques.
Honestly, just when I thought I couldn't love her anymore, she surpasses herself. PIP is the type of person you want to sit next to dinner. Instantly I understood how he put all those ex sexy boyfriends Under his spell. Fascinating woman.
The great exaggeration of the night was the one attended by the new Australian girlfriend of Channing Tatum. Jana is shown with his fellow Modana Cox (left) and Bec Harding (right)
As the night ended, Pip Edwards arrived. He had just landed from Los Angeles and told me about a tantric sex retreat to which he had attended where he learned 10 different gang techniques
For Sunday, I made its way in the internal circle of the F1 and toured some of the ridiculously luxurious suites. One, organized by a transmission service, served with Greek chicken with tahini feta sauce, pork with dutchkah's crust, baked salmon with green apple salad and pine nut, and a dish of decadent cheese. Ah, and brownies with dulce de leche. Ah, the F1 test, once again, is a sport for the rich and famous. He certainly surpasses meat cakes in the Cricket.
After the race, it was time for the back party: Don Julio in Marmont. This time, I did not get into fashion. He gave me a two -piece stretcher, and thank God that I used designer because the crowd was dressed for nine.
Finally I fulfilled a life of a lifetime: I met a Spice Girl! Sports spices Dj'd a set, mixing perfectly 'aspiring' in Fatboy Slim'S' praised '.
Unlike glamor on the network, this party was full of recognizable faces. Celebrity chef Curtis stone I was spending glorious time with his New York agent, Scott tweedie He was in good shape, Pip was there again with his group, and great footy Nathan Buckley appeared with his impressive girlfriend Brodie Ryan… while your ex Alex PikeHe stopped in the room. Strange! Also saw: Christian Petracca and his wife Bella Beischer, Jordan Ablett and some Australian rules heavyweights of football.
At the end of the night, small bottles of tequila were delivered, which led to an almighty hangover and a painful plane trip home.
But I understand now. F1 is a big problem, because most of the action occurs outside the track. Go to sport!